Blog Post: Climb Steps 3 and 4 on the Change Ladder

Welcome back!  As my previous blog entry stated, coaching is all about helping people successfully move upwards through change in order to reach their goals.  We’re never going to escape “change” in our lives, so figuring out how to use it to your advantage is extremely valuable.   

All of us have tried self-change at some point, and probably most of us have failed once or twice.  Remember those New Year’s resolutions?  Remember your last infamous attempt to lose weight?  Well, you know already that lasting change is rarely accomplished through your first attempt.  People need to persevere over time with deliberate intent - ideally with the support of a professional coach.   

The six-stage program for “…overcoming bad habits and moving your life positively forward,” developed through extensive research by James O. Prochaska, et al, is a model of intentional change. It can be applied toward pinpointing and working to achieve a variety of positive behavioral changes in areas such as:  procrastination, poor interpersonal communication, projected negativity, lack of personal accountability, and other behavioral blocks preventing people from achieving more success and satisfaction in their lives.     

My previous blog post covered the first two "Stages of Change" identified by Prochaska in his book “Changing for Good:” Pre-contemplation, where you may not even be thinking about climbing the first rung of the change ladder at all, perhaps resisting and/or opting not to change; Contemplation, where you are facing the idea of a desirable change in your life, and seriously considering how to tackle it.

Now, Stages 3 and 4 are where YOU REALLY GET TO WORK at making your desired changes happen:

TTM Stage 3:  PREPARATION – Putting your ducks in order, so to speak.  Depending on your style, you may go about this quickly, without much thought (risking a premature end to your change process), or you may gather tons of information and research to bolster your efforts (risking becoming stuck in “getting ready to get ready”).  Either extreme poses dangers of falling off the change ladder. 

Here are some tactics that will help you prepare for the challenges ahead:

• Where are you stuck now?  Consider where you go, what you do, and who your supporters are when you are engaged in the habit you want to change.  How does each component contribute to KEEPING you from changing to how you want to behave in the future?  What do you need to do and WILL YOU alter these components (places, people, circumstances, timing, etc.) that contribute to reinforcing an undesirable habit?  For example, the weekly dinner with good friends that usually knocks your weight loss efforts off-track.  How do you benefit through this?  How can you alter its power over your actions and still keep the valuable parts?  
• Who will you be when you’ve CHANGED?  Look at yourself in the future, as the person who practices the habits you really want to have.  How does that person (you) live a more personally satisfying life?  What does that person (you) feel about themselves?  Write it down, and keep those words where you can read them frequently, add to them, and build on them for your successful preparation to take sustainable action.  For example, my husband used to say to himself frequently throughout the day, during his 9 th attempt to stop smoking:  “I AM NOT A SMOKER!”  He would look in the rearview mirror of his car as he drove around in his sales job and announce this to himself: “I AM NOT A SMOKER!”  I’m proud to say that today (many years later), he’s NOT a smoker.

TTM Stage 4:  ACTION – As you well know, change doesn’t happen unless ACTION precedes it.  However, in Prochaska’s research we find a major key to the success of YOU taking action for change:  you must value the PROS of change over the CONS before the action you take will be worth it.  In other words, you have to see what’s in it for YOU, and that has to count for MUCH more than what you’re leaving behind.  This may be exactly where the open manhole unexpectedly appears, and many would-be self-changers, rushing forward, fall into it.   

Make a list of what your BENEFITS will be in making a change, and what a separate list of what you’re going to LOSE.  Which list outweighs the other? Evaluate whether you’re ready to take action now, and if you’re not, just take one step back. 

If the BENEFITS win, proceed with ACTION and use these tips for support: 

Continually refocus your energies, diverting your attention from what you want to STOP doing, and countering with what will LEAD YOU AWAY.  Many people find that a focused exercise program helps redirect them and generates positive energy for self-change.  For example, I know someone who wanted to stop the perpetually negative arguments with her teen daughter after school.  My friend started an exercise class at that time, and substituted productive, healthy action for destructive arguments – going back home with a healthier viewpoint.  

Continually assert your right to CHANGE to yourself and others!  Recognize external and internal pressures that materialize daily to derail your change efforts, and practice your POWER to counter them.  You have the RIGHT to change – the right to choose.  Enlist support from every front, including a life coach (this is important, and you knew it was coming!) who will support you in reaching your goals.  

Successful change takes continual focus and practice, but habits can be replaced with other habits – the ones you WANT to own. 

Please look for my next post which will explore the two last components of Prochaska’s change process, namely Stages 5 and 6:  Maintenance and Recycling.  Until then, focus on the above stages in earnest to make progress in your desired life changes.        

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- Certified Creative Life and Talent Management Coach (International Coach Federation) and a member of the Phoenix Chapter of the ICF in Arizona. Find her at People Powered Solutions LLC (www.pplpowered.com), and www.LinkedIn.com. 

Copyright (c) 2009 People Powered Solutions LLC

 

Are you at the threshold of changing your self-direction?  Then it is an ideal time to have a conversation with a professionally certified coach to help you clarify your focus on the change you want to make.  Find us in the International Coach Federation listings at http://www.icfphoenix.com and call to get started up the change ladder.

Author Gayla Doucet